City of Love and Scars
by TheDemigodShadowhunters46
Summary: When Clary Fray is being bullied, she needs someone after she loses almost everyone she loves. What will happen when the Lightwoods, old family friends that Clary doesn't remember, move to town? Will their mysterious son with golden features, make Clary's problems worse? or Will this "Golden Boy" be the savior she needs? All human version.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments, that's Cassandra Clare's job**

**Chapter One:**

**Clary's POV**

My name is Clarissa Fray, Clary for short. I'm 17, I go to school at Brooklyn High, and I am bullied. My Dad left when I was very young and my Mom said he died when he left. So from age 3 to 16, it was just me,my mom, and Luke Garroway. Luke has been a very close family friend since before I was born, and he moved in with us when I was 10. One day when I was 16 my mom and Luke got in this big fight and my mom stormed off. Before she left she gave a shiney object to Luke. When I looked closely at the thing in Luke's hand, I noticed it was a ring. My mom ran into her room and packed a suit case full of some clothes and other things, I ran to her door terrified. She was about to rush by me when she noticed me and stopped,"I love you my precious Clary but I must go,I'll be gone for a while but I will see you again" before I could say or ask anything, she kissed me on the forehead and quickly ran through the small apartment and rushed out the door right passed Luke. I cried for 3 days straight in my room, by myself, I was in the apartment living off of Ramen noodles and sprites for the few days after my mom left. The fourth day Luke came to check on me and told me what happened. He said he and my mom were out at dinner and then went for a walk. When he stopped and pulled out an engagement ring, he said when he got down on one knee my mom gasped. He told me that after he asked, my mom just stood there with a shocked look on her face. He slowly got up and asked why she wasn't saying yes. He said she started saying how she wasn't ready for another marriage, and that she'll always love only my dad,then they got in this big arguement about moving on and not moving. Luke said he would stay and help until my mom came back.

**Flashback:**

It was a week and a half after my mom left. We were sitting in the living watching American Idol on TV, when we got a call on the home phone, we rarely got calls on that thing.

"Keep watching,I'll answer it" said Luke, I sat there on the couch while he answered it.

"Hello" he said when he answered it. He stood there for a moment listening to the voice on the other end. The longer he stood there the worst his face got.

"thank you sir" he said before he hung up. He slowly came over to the couch and sat down next to me, turning the TV off in the middle of a tryout.

"Clary, I have bad news, and I don't know how you're gonna handle it" he says, I'm worried now, because a random phone call on the house phone and bad news, isn't good at all.I give him a nod to tell him to keep talking.

"The person that called was the Sheriff, he said he found your mom" Okay I thought, that's good because no one knew where my mother disappeared to.

"...but here's the bad part...he said he found her in her car, that was crashed into a tree, off a road in the middle of nowhere. He said when he found her, she was alive but she was in coma with blood coming from her mouth and a spot on her head. He said he had the peramedics come and take her to the hospital in hopes to save her, but it was too late, two hours after they got to the hospital, they had her hooked up to the machine and her heart rate went straight. This was saturday **(it's monday now)**, and they declared her dead that evening,Clary I'm so sorry I know how hard this is gonna be for you" by the time he was done Luke and I both were in tears.

**Flashback end**

After my mom died, I was crushed, I cried almost every single day. I only had two people in my life when she left, Luke and my best friend Simon Lewis. I had known Simon since preschool. When my mom first died Simon was there for me, he comforted me, and stayed at my house for 2 weeks. But that was before he found out about the cutting and the pills. A couple days after my mom left I was in pain, so I cut myself. And then I would take the pills to ease my mind and go to sleep. I was able to hide it from Simon because of bracelets. But one day when I thought I was a lone, he bursted into my room and caught me in the middle of it. He's hated me ever since, he said "I was a fucking pysco bitch and that cutting is evil". Cutting isn't evil, it's relief. Relief from all the things on my mind. That's what cutting is, it's relief from all the things going on in my head,cutting distracts me, then I take the pills so I'll go to sleep, so I don't have to think about cutting. Then I wake up with bloody scratches and a head ache. But anyways, Simon found out and stopped being my friend, but what killed me most was that he told basically everyone he knew. So I started doing it more because people always pick on me for it, and then picking turned into bullying, and bulling made me cut even more, so I would wear long sleeves in the beginning of summer before school let out, to hide the cuts. Then people started going after everything, the way I look, the clothes I wear,the fact that I still self harmed, everything. And then they wonder why I cut, those stupid fuckers.

**xXx**

Luke eventually moved out, because my brother Jonathan came back from college with his girlfriend, Annabeth **(yes, she's named after Percy Jackson's, Annabeth Chase).** so now it's just 17 year old me, 24 year old Jonathan, and 22 year old Annabeth. I'm glad my brother came back, and I'm glad he brought Annabeth too. Jonathan and Annabeth had been friends since they were like 10, (I was 3)and they strted dating at 17. So Annabeth was practically my sister, and her and Jonathan help me, they make me feel better, but only Annabeth knows about my "condition". She's understanding and isn't mad at me, she just wishes I would stop, but she promised she wouldn't tell Jonathan. If he found out it would kill him and I would be in trouble for a long time. One day Jonathan came in my room while I was listening to All Time Low. He said he invited some people to eat with us one night, their last names Lighwood. He said they just moved to town but our family had known them for years. I sit there puzzled and trying to remember them but I can't, not after all that has happened.

**Sorry this is so long, but it's like an intro chapter so you can get to know this Clary I've made.**

**Let me know how you like it, sorry if there's any mistakes.**

**And in this story I had Clary be a cutter because I'm self harm supporter. I don't support cutting, I mean cutting isn't good, but I hate when people judge others that cut, and also I've been through the whole "bullying because of cutting" thing, but I haven't in months and I never took the pills.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:I don't own the Mortal Instruments, sadly**

**Chapter 2:**

**Clary's POV**

I'm laying on my bed after falling asleep a couple of hours ago. The only thing I remember from earlier was Jonathan saying something about people coming for dinner. I'm slowly waking up from my 2 hour slumber, when Jonathan yells up the steps.

"Clary they'll be here in 45 minutes to an hour, Get up!" he yells. I do NOT feel like getting up and...well...moving. I just want to sleep the night away. But NOOO I have to get up and get ready for our first guest in like a year.I'm about to slip on a pair of dark jeans and my Black Veil Brides band shirt on when Jonathan comes in my room.

"And wear something Mom would be happy to see you in" he says softly, like if he says it louder I'll break. He leaves out my room to probably go cook something. So I put back my jeans and shirt and look in my closet for something actually colorful. By the time I'm done, I have on a peach/coral colored flowing skirt, with an eggshell white floral cotton tank top, with a pearl necklace and matching pearl ear rings, with brown wedge heels, and a nude/brown eye make up, and I final touch of red lipstick. Everything passed down from Annabeth. She has a great style. I look at myself in the mirror. My red curls flowing over my shoulders and down my back. I actually look like my old self again. And I like it. I should do this more often.

**xXx**

I hear a knock at the door. Then I hear footsteps going towards the door, probably Jonathan's. Then I hear something that I'm kinda scared of now...people. I walk down the hall and stop at the corner before the staircase. _You can do this Clary, they're strangers,they don't know your problem, they won't hurt, _I think to myself, I'm almost around the corner, one more step and I'd be visible. I urge myself forward and there I am, above everyone, where everyone can see me. I hear some gasps. One from Jonathan, Annabeth, and who looks like the mother of our visitors. I walk down the steps slowly, careful not to trip and make fool of myself.

"Oh Clary, you've grown and changed so much" says the lady.

"That's all part of growing up and maturing ma'am " I say with a smile

"Oh your humor hasn't changed though" she says with a small laugh. I was being humorous? I was just saying the truth. I mean when you grow up, you grow up, when you mature, you change. I thought that's how things worked. I smile briefly at her. I notice she has three teenagers behind her.

A girl. Tall and thin, but with curves. Dark long hair, dark brown eyes. She's wearing a black lace dress with black fish net hosing, and tall black heels. I'm kinda jealous of her.

A boy. He looks like the girl a lot. Same dark hair, same features. Except he has bright blue eyes, and a muscular build. He has a blue and grey striped shirt and khakis with a pair of grey Nike's. He's attractive, but not my type. wait, I don't even remember having a type.

And last, there's another boy. He's different though. He doesn't look like the other two. He has gold hair, that shines under the ceiling light. He also has golden eyes. They shined bright like diamonds. They were bright but dark at the same time. He has a perfect face structure. And he was dressed in all black like the girl. A tight solid black shirt, dark black jeans, and a black boots. But there was something different about the way he wore the black. The girl was trying to be sexy, the way she wore it. But the way he wore it, was like he didn't want to be noticed, like he wanted to be different from his family. He was very attracktive...and he was staring right at me.

I have a feeling this dinner is gonna be interesting.

**Okay so there's another chapter, sorry it's still one POV I'm just slowly getting to the story. **

**Oh and JACE WAS INTRODUCED! YAY**

**I promise he's gonna have a POV in the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments, but maybe I could steal it...just kidding I can't do that**

**Chapter 3:**

**Clary's POV **

*the next day*

Last night's dinner was interesting. I made a new friend. The girl, Isabelle. She turned to not be a b!tch and was actually really nice. I think we are gonna be good friends. The first guy was nice too but I think I'm gonna be closer with his sister. The last guy turned out to be the hot jerk I thought he was. He was constantly picking on every little thing I did. It wasn't bullying but I still didn't like it. He called me Carrot. I guess I deserved that after I called him Goldilocks. They live in the apartment building across the street so I can see Isabelle basically any time I want. I'm just glad I have at least one new friend.

**Jace's POV **

The girl from last night, Clary, was...something, I just can't find the right word. When I first meet people I act like a jerk to see how they take it. I thought she would be offended but she shot negative comments right back at me. As I continued, she looked hurt, and Isabelle would yell at me. But eventually Clary just kinda ignored me and talked to Alec and Isabelle. That's the first time a girl has declined me or hasn't flirted with me. It felt different, and like she had stripped me of my pride. I called her Carrot and she looked hurt, like I had just triggered a bad memory. But she deserved it, she called me Goldilocks! Nobody has ever called me that. She gave me a taste of my own medicine...and boy was it bitter. Most of her comments to me were actually clever.

Now that I think about it she was really nice. And she was kinda pretty...who am I kidding, she was beautiful. She was so smart and graceful, and funny. With her gorgeous curly red hair that flowed over her shoulders, and it bounced on top of her shoulders when she walked. And her bright white smile, and her curves weren't that bad either but I'm not getting into my perverted guy side. But the thing that I noticed and was best about her was her beautiful emerald-green eyes, that shined bright under the lights.

Her eyes were filled with so many emotions. Love, care, happiness, anger, and mostly sadness. Probably after years of seeing so many things. They say people smile and act happy, but when you look in their eyes you can see they aren't and the smiling and laughing is like a mask. I wonder what she's been through that was so bad, she had to fake being happy. For some reason I want to go across the street, barge through her door, hold her in my arms, and tell her everything is gonna be okay. But I can't, because I don't what happened t her, I don't know if she's gonna be okay. The only reason I could do that is to get to know her. But I have to get close to her without her noticing, because I have to keep my stupid reputation.

Wait I just called my reputation stupid...I used to love my reputation. Now I think it's stupid? It's because of Clary, she's changing me and I've only known her for one night.

**Okay I'm sorry this chapter is really short, but at least it has a POV from Jace and tells you how he feels about Clary. I'm really busy, so I'm on a time frame to get this typed and updated, that's why it's short because I wanted to hurry up and finish. Hope you enjoyed it. Next update will be tomorrow night probably, if not sooner. **


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments, simple as that

**Chapter 4**

**Clary's POV**

It's been a week since I've met Jace Lightwood and his family. It's been an eventful week too, because I've been getting ready for school to start. I'm so trilled...can't you just hear the ethusasm in my voice(note my sarcasm). Going back to school means going back to bullies. It's like I go right into their lair, but I have no choice. I'm going into 11th grade, and I have 9th graders picking on me. That doesn't seem right does it? I found out Isabelle, Alec and Jace are going to my school though. Isabelle and Jace are in my grade but Alec is in 12th. Maybe if Jace would stop acting like a jerk, I could have two friends to help me. But that's not likely. He'll probably be one of the bullies. But maybe not, I don't know, but I'm not getting my hopes too high. School starts tomorrow and so far it's me and maybe Isabelle, against society. Society is a bitch. People tell you to be yourself and when you do they judge you. I take that back...society is a fucked up bitch. But that's my opinion.

*next day*

I'm walking to my bus stop on the first day of school. I'm wearing dark jean shorts and an orange floral top with my converse and the same make up I had on the other night. My bright red curls are flowing over my shoulders. I'm hoping and praying that since I'm wearing this and not all black, that they won't judge how I look. I haven't cut myself lately, so I don't have fresh red scars. Maybe if I don't give them evidence they won't pick on me.

I walk on to the bus and all of suddenly see Isabelle, Jace and Alec sitting and talking. Isabelle sees me and motions for me to come over. I look and see she's sitting next to Alec and Jace is across from them with an empty seat beside him. Great my day just started off well.

"Hey Clary" says Isabelle all peppy.

"hey" I say back, not knowing what to say. I stand there for a minute to see of there's a seat by them. Nope, nada.

"you know you can sit next to me Carrot" Jace says. I look down at him and hesitantly sit next to him.

"We can be friends right...I mean you're gonna have to deal with the name Carrot" He says I think for a minute that maybe I was wrong, maybe he'll actually be my friend.

"yeah I guess we can be friends as long as I can call you Goldilocks" I say with a smirk. He thinks about it for a minute.

"alright I guess that's only fair" he says with an award-winning smile and I feel like I melted down to the floor. We sit there for a minute just staring at each other. His liquid gold eyes looking into my mine. When an all too familiar face turns around from the seat in front of me.

"Oh look who it is...It's Clary the red-head freak who cuts" says Victoria Malfoy. Jace looks at me with a shocked expression and I lower my head. I guess there's no escaping from bullies.I'm about to say something but another voice speaks up first.

"Look I don't know who you are but I suggest you leave her alone, she did nothing wrong to you but you had to come along and ruin her morning" says a guys voice. I look up and see Jace standing up. He has his fist clenched at his side.

"I'm Victoria Malfoy who are you ,hotty?" she asks with a flirtatious smile and for some reason I want to slap it off her face.

"It's not nice to meet you Victoria, I'm Jace and I think you should really turn around"

"Why are you standing up for her, she's an emo hurts herself, nobody should care about her" says Victoria and I feel like sliding down and crying to myself, with my knees pressed against me and my arms around my legs. I do that a lot but not in public.

"No that's the reason why people should care, she's my best friend and you have no idea what you're talking about. And you have no idea what she's been through but I can tell she probably still does it because of _you_" a voice shouts at Victoria but it isn't Jace. I look over and see Isabelle standing and pointing an accusing finger. She called me her best friend. Victoria looks shocked.

"I don't care about you have to say, I want to know why Jace the cutey, is standing up for her" she turns her attention back to Jace.

"I'm standing up for her because that's what I should do" says Jace. To tell you the truth I want to know why too.

"But _why_?" yells Victoria. Okay where the fuck is the bus driver. Shouldn't he be stopping this? Does he even hear the shouting or see them standing up?

"because...she's my girlfriend" I look at Jace. Since when did that happen. Apparently every one will know that before I do.

"Why would you date _that_?" she asks and gives me a look of distaste, like I'm something her pet Chihuahua threw up.

"I would date her because she's beautiful and smart and caring and way better than you" says Jace. and the truth comes out. Isabelle looks at him with a shocked expression but Alec is just grinning, like he knows something.

"Obviously you have a different definition of those words than me. I mean why are you in love with a cutter who listens to sceamo" says Victoria and I want to punch her in the face because music is my best medicine, how dare she say something about it.

"All time Low and the Cab aren't screamo" says Alec with a look of seriousness. Of course he would speak up about bands. I just gained some new respect for him.

"why are you loving her, she's not worth it" says Victoria ignoring Alec's comment.

"Why not?" says Jace as he looks at me with a smile. Victoria clearly lost this battle. She sits down in her seat. Jace and Isabelle sit too. Jace looks mad but satisfied that he won.I look him.

"so when did I become your girlfriend?" I whisper in his ear smiling.

"About five minutes ago" he whispers back.

"Don't you think this is too soon?" I ask him. He looks at me with no expression on his face. Damn why can't he show some emotion when I'm looking for it.

"Yeah maybe. I mean I was trying to stand up to you. And when she asked why, I panicked and said that" he says and I suddenly regret asking him that question.

"so we are just friends?" I ask him making sure I didn't hear him wrong.

"yeah" he says with a straight face. His looks and facial expressions aren't helping me figure things out. I look down and pick with hem of my shirt. I sit there for what seems like minutes but just seconds. He looks at me and I can feel his gaze watching the side of my face. I turn to him so we are looking in each others eyes. I feel like all my worries melt away when I look in his eyes.

"we're friends...for now" he says with a smirk.

"that can mean more than one thing" I say thinking that he could either mean ditching me or dating me. Both options scare me a little.

"you know which meaning I mean" he says and then wink at me. I giggle. Hold up, I giggled? That kind of noise hasn't came out of me in a long time.

We get off the bus 10 minutes later. Jace, Alec, Isabelle, and I smile at each other before heading off. Alec heads to the 12th grade hall. Isabelle and I head to our lockers which are right next to each other. And Jace heads around the corner of the hall. I watch him go, look around, then come back to me and Isabelle.

"I can't find my locker" he says in a fake cry voice. I look at his paper and it says locker number 24. My locker is number 22 and Izzy's is 21. So far my day is off to a good start. I hope it stays that way.

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it's just one POV. Next chapter might have some different point of views. More people are introduced. And we get one more chapter closer to Clary and Jace being official. Sorry I haven't updated the past couple days, I've been busy reading the City of Ashes and the City of Glass and watching Pewdiepie Youtube videos. It's sad I have a TMI fan fic and I haven't even finished reading the series.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI. Same old, same old**

**Clary's POV**

I'm sitting in my room on my bed. _A love like war_ by All Time low is blaring through the speakers so loud the speakers sound like they are gonna bust. I'm painting my fingernails the same dark blue color that Hazel Lancaster wears in _the fault in our stars_. I already did my toes the same color. _A love like war _goes off and the song changes to _Everything is awesome_. I think that song is so annoying, so I get up and change it to _Lost in stereo._ I'm about to sit back on my bed, when my phone rings from it's charger. I quickly go across the room and pick up my phone, careful not to mess up my wet nails.

"Hello?" I ask. It was a number that wasn't in my phone but looked familiar.

"Hey Clary, it's Isabelle" That's weird. Isabelle's number is in my contacts.

"oh what's up"

"Well, this is Jace's number. And he was supposed to be talking to you but his A PUSSY!" she says the last part louder,probably so he could hear. "_Hey!" _I hear in the background.

"Anyway, me, Alec, Magnus, and Jace are going to see a movie. And as soon as I said it, Jace blurted out 'Clary should come' so I was like that's a great idea but he's supposed to be asking you, not me. But I wanted you to come so I asked for him" A movie does sound bad. It'll get me out the house for a little while.

"yeah I'd love to come. What movie?" It could be anything because we have a very weird group.

"Oh well we don't know. It'll probably be scary or a grown up comedy. And if we have to we can force the guys to see the fault in our stars" she says and I hear "_NO!"_coming from all three boys in unison.

"Whatever. you guys just don't know what's good" Isabelle says kinda sassy. This has me smiling.

"Okay well be over here by 5:30, and dress like you're..well..going to the movies" she says weirdly

"yeah because I wouldn't dress like that" I say sarcastically and she laughs a little. A second later I hear Izzy saying _"Jace, she's coming. you can calm down now" _ and then I hear a big _"YES!" _coming from who I presume is Jace. The fact that he's excited I can come makes me smile wider. I think Isabelle thought she hung up on me but didn't because she says,

"sorry Clary you weren't supposed to hear that. Opps. Anyway see you later bye. she says and hangs up.

It's 4:15. So I have an hour and 15 minutes to get ready. I quickly get a shower and I'm so distracted that when I get out I see that 20 minutes had gone by. Dang I didn't know we had that much hot water, usually it gets cold after ten minutes. I get out and dry off while stepping in front of my closet with a towel around me and my hair up in one too. I'm having a hard time deciding what to wear. So by the time it's 5:10, I'm wearing dark skinny jeans that work wonders for my legs, a solid black v-neck shirt, with my medium blue leather jacket and my black converse, plus my solid black beanie on the back of my head. I have smokey eye make up and I left my lips their pale pink color. I looked pretty bad ass. I tell Jonathan where I'm going. And he lets me go.

When I get there I walk through the hall until I reach their door. I'm about to knock when Jace yanks the door open, leaving my hand in the air.

"you're late" is all he says.I check my phone and it says 5:29.

"no I'm not. I was instructed to be here at 5:30. It's 5:29, so if anything, I'm early" I say with a grin. He looks at me for a moment. His eyes roaming me up and down, looking me head from toe. He has an emotion in his eyes but his face is blank.

"Jace! Stop undressing her with your eyes" Alec comes over and pushes Jace out the way, breaking his stare. Alec looks at me and smiles while putting a hand on my back, leading me in.

"hey Clary, how have you been?" he asks. I stop walking and look up at him.

"okay I guess" I say. And it's true, I'm always just okay. _Are you hurt? no I'm okay. Are you okay? yup I'm just okay. How have you been? Okay. How do you feel? okay. _He looks me in the eyes for a moment. They say if a person's expression doesn't tell the truth, look in their eyes. He leans down to my ear and whisper "I know you're not". He pulls back and nods his in the direction of the kitchen. I follow him. I wonder where Jace went, I didn't see him slip in front of us.

As I enter the kitchen, I see Isabelle rushing around and placing things in her purse. She notices me and says

"hey Clary, you ready for the movie?"

"as ready as I'll ever be" I say smiling at her. I noticed Magnus sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen's island and smile at him.

"hey girly" he says.

"Hi Magnus" I say as Alec comes in and perches on stool beside him. I still don't see Jace, but he'll be out soon. After five minutes of waiting Jace finally comes out. When he does we check and make sure we have everything and then head to the car. We take Isabelle's car and it's just big enough to squeeze us in. Her in driver's seat, Magnus in shot-gun, with Jace, me, and Alec squished in the back. On top of that I got stuck with the middle.

When we get to the theater, we still haven't got an idea of what we will see. So it takes us 10 minutes to decide on Paranormal Activity:the marked ones. I'm really excited because I love horror movies and I've seen all the paranormal Activity movies. I see Isabelle and Alec are excited too. Magnus looks satisfied, but probably because he plans to sit next to Alec. And Jace looks the same but there's something else in his expression. I can't tell what. We go to the concession stand, we get 2 large buckets of popcorn, we each get a medium drink, and our own candy. I got sour gummy worms, they're my favorite. When get to the movie we pick seats in the middle of the theater. Isabelle went through first, then Magnus went next to her, Alec followed Magnus next, I got the seat next to Alec, and Jace came last and sat beside me. It never fails for me to be in the middle of them.

After the movie was over it was like 7:30 so we went to sonic, not wanting to go home. We all got our food and sat down at the tables outside. I got cinnamon bites and a strawberry-lemon slushy. Isabelle got the same, Magnus got the cinnamon bites an a coke, and Alec and Jace got two large fries and drinks, Eventually it didn't matter who got what because we were reaching around the table getting whatever we wanted. Alec and Jace got mad that Me, Magnus, and Isabelle started stealing their fries and started throwing them at us. I eventually got smart and started trying to catch them with my mouth. Magnus and Isabelle caught on and did it too. We were still getting their fries and they didn't notice. When we were done there, we went to drop Magnus off at his house.

"Bye Magnus!" we all chorused together.

"bye guys, see you soon" he said as he started walking to his door. We pulled off and Isabelle started driving to my house. We got there and I got out. I leaned on the front window where Alec was.

"bye guys, thanks for inviting me, I had fun" said and I really didn't want to go home.

"yeah no problem. I know we'll do it again soon" says Isabelle.

"I wish you didn't have to go home" Alec says.

"yeah me too" I start walking up the side walk.

"wait a minute, maybe I don't have to. Maybe I can stay the night" I say suddenly having the idea. I can see all their faces lift and brighten.

"yeah go ask Jonathan and pack your bag, we'll be out here" says Isabelle. I start running to the door and I'm greeted by Jonathan, opening it.

"yes you can stay the night, go get your stuff" he says like he could read my mind. I smile and say "thanks" I run upstairs and grab my sleepover bag and stuff the thing I need in it. I run back out the door after quickly hugging Jonathan. I fly through the car door that Jace already opened for me. My heart is beating face and I can feel the excitement coming off the others. We get tp their house and we settle in. Everyone changes into night-clothes and we go to the den and sit on the couch. Out of no where Isabelle blurts out,

"lets play truth or dare. We can face time Magnus and see if wants to play too"

"yeah that's a great idea Izzy" says Jace. Isabelle runs up stairs to get her Ipad and when she comes back down she sets it on the coffee table in front of us. We all got this big comforter and were sitting under it. Izzy at one end and Alec at the other, with me next to Isabelle, and Jace next to me. Magnus picks p and we we tell him what we're doing. Then we stay up all night playing truth or dare. Eventually we get sleepy and I'm trying to get in a comfy sleeping position, when Jace whisper in my ear.

"you can lay your head on my shoulder" I look at him and hesitantly do that. Eventually when we all fall asleep. My head is on Jace's shoulder, and his head is on mine. Alec has his head pressed to Jace's fore arm on his other arm. And Isabelle has her head on my shoulder. We all look so content and happy. And for once in a long time I was content, as I slipped into a heavenly sleep, with all my friends around me. I'm finally with people that make me happy.

**Okay so there's another chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to update. I hope you enjoy. I added this chapter because I wanted something happy to happen for Clary. It's been 3 weeks since she last cut herself, and she doesn't even realize it. But it's because she has her new friends. So lets give a round of applause for Clary. *Claps and yells 'GO CLARY!'***


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI. This is getting old.**

**~Chapter Six~**

**Clary's POV**

It's been a month since fun night with everyone. Everything has settled down a little, nothing new happens, unless Isabelle gets new shoes. It's a week before Halloween, and I still don't know what I'm gonna be. I wasn't gonna be anything but Isabelle convinced me. I think I'm just passing out candy though. She already has a costume as suspected. She's being some sort of military fighter, with a short camo printed _dress_, if that's what it can be called, and tight fishnet hosing. But only Isabelle can make a slutty costume, well, not slutty. She actually looks really good. Jace and Alec are being some weird demon hunters, their costumes all black. But as for me, I haven't even made a trip to the costume store yet.

I'm at school on a Monday, Halloween is friday, I'm dreading every moment of school. I'm at my locker when someone lightly taps me on the shoulder, thinking it's Jace I turn around with a smile. Suddenly a wiff of some breathtaking fragrance is in my face and my smile instanty disapears into a look of disgust. Of all people I could turn around to, it's Victorie and her two sidekicks. I swear they're the mean girls of my school.

"Hey Sheri" she says with a smile of perfectly white teeth.

"Clary" I say correcting her.

"Whatever...so I'm having this huge Halloween at my house this Friday and _everyone _is invited." She says with a smile that's so fake it could be an implant, like her boobs.

"I really don't think you want me there" I say looking her straight in her light blue eyes.

"Oh but I do, I'm trying to be nice to people." She says. There has to be another why she wants me to go.

"Who are you and what have you done with Victoria" I say, there's no way she's 'just being nice'

"It's still me, silly girl, I've just _changed_" she says with the girliest giggle I've ever heard.

"You know who else would probably want you to come?" she asks tauntingly. She leans in close to my ear.

"Jace" She whispers, saying the C and E with a hiss. I freeze at the mention of his name. She steps back and smiles a smile that would've been sweet if I didn't hate her. She knows he's my weakness. She sees this emotion on my face and probably realizes she almost has me. She whips a small stack of miniture fliers, and hands one to 's all light pink and fancy black font. Is this a halloween party or a princess ball?

"Umm okay" I say slowly.

"Great! See you there, Terri" she says too perky.

"Clary" I mumble under my breath.

By Friday Isabelle has found me a costume. A tight black dress that comes down to the middle of my thighs and shows too much clevage in my opinion, with black flats and a red cape. I'm supposed to be little red ridding hood, but I can't tell if I'm that or a stripper with a cape. Isabelle just finished my eyes with a flawless smokey eye and my usually unattractive pale face is glowing. As Isabelle applies red lipstick I shudder at the memory of the rich colored crimson making it's way to the top of my skin and rolling down my arm. No. Not tonight. I won't do this tonight. She finishes me up by putting my firey orange curls up with bobby-pins. Only my side bangs are straightened and are slightly tickling the sides of my forehead.

***At the party***

Isabelle, Alec and I are walking up the path way to what looks like castle, it doesn't even look like a house. Colored lights are peeping through the windows and we could already hear the music from a block away. There's already so many cars parked there. Including Jordan Kyle's car, which was Jace's ride. They've became all buddy buddy since Jace got on the football team. He hasn't even talked to us lately. He's too caught up in new popular friends.

As we step into the entry all of us stop and look around. There are a lot more people than the cars outside. I automatically know this isn't my normal atmosphere. We look around and start walking, sticking close to each other. Eventually we find Victoria. She's dressed up in a white corset with pink laces, and a white mini skirt that is so _mini _I swear anyone could see the camel toe her hosing is giving her. She has on white heels about 5 inches high, a puff of cotton on her lower back and a bunny ear head band. She's wearing so little clothing I can barely say she's _dressed up. _She turns and sees us.

She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Hey guys! Hope you're having fun!" she tries to yell over the music. She races off probably to go greet someone she actually likes.

About fourty five minutes into being there, nothing has happened. Some baseball player, dressed like a ninja thought Isabelle was hot and got her a red cup with what I presume is alcohol in it. She drinks it and sighs from relief. After five mintues of talking to the guy, Alec and I are staring after her as she slips through the crowd, trailing after him. That leaves me and Alec by ourselves near a corner in what I think is a living room. We look around and then at each other, taking in the people and whats happening.

After a few minutes of awkward silence Alec speaks up and says " So have you spotted Jace yet?"

"No, he's probably with the football team" I can't talk normally, so Alec has to bend down and put his ear near my lips. I actually haven't seen Jace at all but I know for a fact he's here. Alec smirks to himself. I look up at him. He's a whole 6' taller than me. I raise an eyebrow at him.

He leans down again but puts his lips to _my _ear and says "He's probably in a bedroom having rough sex with some chick he doesn't know" He says it and I can sense he's smiling as he's saying it. But when he moves back up his smile is disappearing into a frown as he looks at me with, what is that? Concern?

After standing there for a few more minutes, we somehow made it to the kitchen to get a drink. It's a bit quieter in here. Victoria comes in with her sidekicks and some handsome boys behind her. I notice that even under a black beanie, a shine of golden locks on one of the boys. So that's where Jace has been. Her squad approaches us and I look frantically up at Alec. Where's Isabelle when you need her?

"Oh my gosh, don't you just look adorable. And Adam don't you look as cute as ever." she says, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"It's Alec" he says correcting her but she ignores him. Instead of leaving or saying something back to him, she walks over and stands in front of me. She gets closer and whispers in my ear"I dont think I've ever seen you show off so much skin. Does it feel good to expose yourself? To let the wounds get fresh air?" she says that with a dead serious tone. She lean back and pretends to play with my curls as if me and her were the best of friends. I notice Jace looking over her shoulder at me. I see his honey eyes specked with golden flakes, staring at me intensly, with wildnest, and wonder, and lust? But he's looking at me.

"Well come on guys lets go party." Victoria says cheerfully to her group. Everyone follows, even Jace, but as they're about to walk out the kitchen I see him say something and turn back around. He strides over to where Alec and I are standing.

He looks us over and finally says" Alec, I saw Magnus in the den, I think he wants to see you" Alec simply raises eyebrows and nods at us, then heads off to the direction of the den. I watch him leave but when I look at Jace he's standing closer. I'd take a step back but he'd notice.

"You look nice" he says stiffly. His gold eyes are frantically searching my face, showing the same emotions. Is he nervous?

"You can thank Isabelle for this" I tell him. It took her an hour and a half to get me ready.

"She did a good job" he says. He's looking at the floor now, but I can still see his eyes looking around fastly, almost as if he doesn't know what to say. It shocks me that Jace Lightwood is left speechless by me. He looks back up and faces me.

"So..umm..outback...will...can you just follow me" He says having a hard time getting the words out, but practically spits out the last ones.

"Umm, sure" I say trying to play it cool. He nods quickly and starts leading me to the back yard. We step out into the yard and overlook a pool, a patio area and some plush green lawn. The pool looks like it has red cool aid in it and fake limbs. The lawn has gravestones, and the patio is all cleared and is being used as a dance floor. And instead of flashing LED lights, there's white string lights drapped across the whole top of the yard. Out the corner of my eye I see Jace look down at me and smile, probably at my wide eyes. He's probably been here before. There are rumors that since Jordan Kyle is Victoria's brother, that when Jace comes over it's not just for Jordan. Whether they're true or not, i don't know.

He leads me over to the patio area near the pool and looks at me, just simply looks at me like it's the most normal thing ever. I smile ever so slightly, and look up at him through my lashes. This used to drive Simon crazy when we were still friends. His eyes explode with golden fireworks and his mouth parts slightly. Wow it actually worked on him. He shakes his head and composes himself again.

He reaches his hand out and asks" Dance with me?". I take his hand and he pulls me to him. His other hand finds the curve between my hip and my waist, my hand goes up to his neck, where golden strands of hair tickle my fingers. He pulls our still conjoined hands to his chest and holds them there. Everything is perfect, except for the fact that I suck at dancing.

"Umm, Jace. There's a problem" I say into his chest.

"And what is it, Carrot?" he asks.

"I kinda suck at dancing" But he says nothing, as if thinking for a second. Then without warning his grip tightens on my waist and with little effort, he lifts me onto his toes. He better glad Isabelle let me where flats.

"But I do so you're in luck" He mumurs in my ear. After a few minutes I lay my head on his chest and his head rests on mine. We stay like this, just swaying and taking small steps in a circle. For a moment everything is perfect and I forget about everything, except us. We were just _together_, and for now, that's all that mattered. I feel Jace lift his head and we come to a stop. I look up to see Jordan talking to him. There's a smirk on his face for some reason. I can't hear what they're saying it's too muffled. Jordan walks off still smiling. When I look up at Jace he has a glare and a frown mixed on his face. What did Jordan say to him?

I notice Jordan and a girl I think is named Maia, start dancing this way. Rather than slow dancing like the song, they're moves are crazy, out of control. They're bouncing up and down, their heads bobbing to the beat of music that's not playing, thier arms swinging around. I notice that they're pushing me and Jace closer to the edge of the pool. I don't thread on it that long. They probably don't even know they are. From over Jace's shoulder, where my head is laying, I see Jordan's swinging arm almost touch Jace. I close my eyes once again and pay attention to Jace's arms aroud me.

Before I even know what's happening, I feel like I'm falling. I feel myself losing my balance, and I see Jace reaching out for me, but his hands are getting farther away from me. Soon a big splash sounds off, and I suddenly feel icey, cold, liquid soaking through my clothes.

"CLARY!" Jace yells, I see him try to come to the pool's edge, but he's yanked back by Jordan and some other guys. I'm struggling to stay a float, being pushed into the eight foot deep part when you're only 5'6 is a problem. Any other time I'd be fine though I'm excellent swimmer,according to my trainer, when I was 12. But I'm still so shocked, I can't handle it.

I feel myself going under water, Jace's cries for me are still coming but are muffled. I close my eyes. I could end this humilation right now. Just stay under for a little longer than I should. But I only close my eyes to prevent kool aid from getting in them.

I hear a splash and then arms are around me. As I surface again, I gasp for air. I blink my eyes quickly, I see red drops of liquid and for a minute I think it's blood, but then I remember the kool aid. I look behind me to see a guy in a dark suit, a mask over his face. Through the eye slits I see smart brown eyes, with flecks of hazel. Those eyes are famililar. He drags me to the pool side, and I lean back on my hands, not aware that I'm still dysfunctional. I see Isabelle; a heep of grey, green, and black, run toward and sit next to me.

"Are you okay?" "Are you hurt?" "How do you feel?" she ask those quetions in less than 10 seconds.

"I'm okay, Izzy. Can we just leave" There it is again, with the 'okay' thing. I don't dare look up, I'm too scared I'll make eye contact with someone. I can hear though. People laughing at me. Saying things like 'She's the knock off of Carrie' 'All the red is appropriate for her' 'She's probably used to the color of red'. But what confuses me the most, is Jace isn't rushing over, he isn't calling me, he isn't doing anything. I hear Isabelle whisper "Let's get out of here" and she pulls me through the house. We meet Alec and Magnus at the car. She helps me get inside and makes sure I'm warm. I don't realize I'm crying until I reach up and pull my fingers to reveal, salty tears mixed with kool aid and black make up. I probably look like Magnus after he gets out the shower.

I end up convincing them to just drop me off. So they do. Jonathan isn't home. He won't be for another 2 weeks. But I'm okay. I know how to take care of myself.

**If reading about self harm upsets you,I would advise that you don't read the next part and let the last paragraph be the last of the chapter for you!**

I enter my house and run up stairs to my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. I strip of the cape and throw my flats across the room. I run hot water in the bath tub of my bathroom. Running back to my room, I press the play button on my laptop and _King For a day _ by Pierce the Veil comes on. I swish the water in the tub to make sure it's hot enough. I unlock the drawer on the sink to reveal my 'drawing supplies'. I take out a medium sized blade and hold it in my fingers. This used to be a pencil sharpener. I drag it several times across my wrist and my hip. When the dark red droplets of blood mix with the watery red drops of kool aid, it makes the prettiest red I've seen. I drop the blade in the sink and step into the tub.I don't even take off my tight black dress; if I die in this tub, I at least want to be found dressed. I lay down in the water, not sure if my skin is burning because of the cuts exposed to water, or the hot water its self. I knew this party was a trap. I knew Victoria had something planned. And in the end I know Jace cares about his popular friends more than me. I'm so foolish.

**This chapter took me forever to type. I know it was kind of long, sorry about that. Sorry about the last paragraph if you read it, I felt like putting it in there to describe how hurt and embarrassed she is. Finally got some Clace action and it turns out bad. okay, so I want to know who you guys think was the ninja guy that was with Isabelle, and who pulled Clary out the pool. So please let me know what you guys think, it's always cool to see what you people think. Hope you enjoyed it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI. I feel like a broken record.**

**Chapter 7 **

**Clary's POV**

It's been a week since the party, since the pool, since the dancing. I haven't been going to school, I'm too scared to see what people will say to me. I've been home alone all week. Jonathan and Annabeth are off to some work vacation, and with me being old enough to stay at home, they left. All I've been doing is sleeping, listening to music, and watching the Harry Potter marathon that comes on abc family.

I'm in the middle of the Order of Pheonix, and Bellatrix is about to kill Sirius when I hear someone pounding on the front door. I continue watching suspensfully, seeing if the person will go away. A couple seconds pass, and yet again the sound of a fist hitting the door echos up the stairs. I slip out my room in my gray sweatpants, and make my to the steps. I slowly decend down the stairs giving the person one last chance to leave, but as i reach the bottom of the steps I see a blurred outline of a person through the mosaic like glass on the door.

I walk up to the door and yell "WHO IS IT?!"

"who do you think it is..the Easter Bunny? Who else woulld vist you after school?" ask a familir voice I'd never get tired of. I open the door and through squinted eyes because of the sun, I see Isabelle with a bright smile, Alec with bright eyes, and Magnus with bright clothes.

"Suprise" says Isabelle holding the smile and throwing her hands up. I stood there just taking it all in. Sure, I had talked to Alec and Isabelle more than twice everyday, sure they cared enough to make sure I was okay, but I hadn't beem expecting them to pop up at my door. Isabelle puts down her hands and makes a blunt expression.

"Well aren't you gonna let us in...it is kinda chilly out here?" she asks. I smile and nod and step aside for them to come in. They wait for me to close the door and then they trail behind me to the kitchen. I get out things to make pizza rolls for everyone. Alec and Magnus take a seat on the stools at the island in the middle of the kitchen, and Isabelle,after grabbing a pepsi from the fridge, hops up on the counter and pops the soda can open.

While I'm putting the pizza rolls in and setting the timer Isabelle asks "So how have you been?" Honestly I don't know how to answer.

"Umm, okay I guess. It's nice to have a break from school...and people" I mumble the last part under my breath hoping they don't hear, although by the look on Isabelle's face I can tell she did. She frowns slighty and takes a sip of her drink.

"You're coming back Monday right?" asks Alec. I don't know, am I going back to school Monday? Can I handle it?

"I guess I have to, Jonathan and Annabeth come back Sunday and they're gonna think it's weird I'm not going to school." I don't think I'm even gonna tell them about staying out this week. Isabelle opens her mouth to say something but is cut off by the ding of the oven. I grab a mit and carefully avoid the hot 400 degree oven. I put the pizza rolls on a platter and grab drinks for everyone. We head to the living room and plop down on the couch. I reach for the remote so I can resume my Harry Potter but Isabelle yanks it from me and tosses it to the other chair.

I make a groan of protest and she says "We have to talk" and I can tell by the look on her face that nothing _but_ talking is gonna happen. Before I can even ask what there's to talk about she cuts me off.

"What happened? Who pushed you? or were you just being clumbsy?" She sputs out question faster than I can even open my mouth to answer.

"I think I was pushed, but it wasn't just me. I was dancing with Jace and I think he was pushed but since I was closer I fell in" and just by saying his name my heart does a summer-sault.

"Did you see who pushed you?" asks Alec quickly, an expression of obvious anger and protection on his face.

"No I had my head in his chest and my eyes closed. But I have an idea." I say and the images of dancing with him apears behind my eyes. It makes my heart ache.

"Who? 'cause if we find out I swear I'm gonna punch someone in the face" and suprisingly it was Magnus that said that.

"I think it was Jordan Kyle. He came by grinning and whispered something to Jace and then he and his girlfriend were dancing all crazy near us, pushing us toward the pool" I'm almost certain it was him but I dont want to accuse someone of something when I don't even know if they did it.

"I'll find out who it was. And I'll beat the crap out of them. Do you have any questions or requests Clary?" Ask Isabelle, her tone going from anger to concern.

"yeah actually. I want to know who actually pulled me out the pool..." I probably would've let myself drown if it weren't for that person.

"Umm it may or may not have been that really cute ninja that pulled me away." Isabelle says blushing, and I can see Alec rolling his eyes.

"what's his name?" I swear I know him.

"Well you see, he never told me his name..." she stops for a second but continues.

"We were to busy dancing" she says blushing a violent shade of red. Alec looks slightly annoyed, and Magnus looks so interested. He practically lives for gossip.

"Well we can't just go around asking people if they're my savior" I say. Honestly I don't think anyone will admit to saving me. I look at everyone. Alec looks as he usually does, calm and collected but ready for anything. Magnus looks happy to be included, a mask of multiple emotions on his face. And Isabelle looks like...she's hiding something? I give her a questioning look, and knowing she can't lie to me now she comes out.

"I may or may not have gotten his number..." she says a grin coming to her face. I hear Magnus gasp.

"Oh my gosh Izzy! Let's call him!" I say, suddenly enthuastic for the first time in a week.

"Okay, okay, I'm going to" she says putting her hands up in a surrendering way. She pulls out her iphone. A pink Iphone 5c, with a black case with bold red lettering reading "no less than 7 iches" with a glittery heel behind it. She types in a password, whipping her thumbs to press the numbers so fast I can't even guess the first number. She goes to contacts and under the N's, the guy that saved me, is labeled 'Ninja dude'. After pressing the call button, she presses speaker and we all wait anxiuosly and not so patiently for the guy to pick up. After a couple of seconds of ringing someone picks up.

"Hello?" a very familular voice says but I can't remember where I've heard it.

"Umm hi...it's Isabelle, from the party. I was the hot military girl...you remember me right?" She says slowly as if she's scared she'll freak him out.

"yeah I remember you, you were a pretty good dancer" he says casually.

"yeah you were too...so my friend you dragged out the pool, Clary. I just want to thank you for that" she says cencerily.

"I'm glad I could help. I wish I would've saw who pushed her" Ninja-dude says.

"you seem like a good swimmer, were you on the swim team?" isabelle asks.

"yup for three years"

"well those three years helped us out alot" Isabelle says. She sounds interested in this guy.

"yeah it did." he says and after a moment of awkward silence Isabelle speaks up.

"Umm what's your na-" she's cut off by the guy yelling.

"NOT NOW MOM. I'M PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!" he yells at his mother.

"sorry. what were you gonna say?" he asks in his normal tone.

"Umm I wanted to know your-" she says but is cut off yet again by him screaming.

"ahhhggg...YOSSARIAN!" he screams almost busting all of our eardrums.

"sorry again, my cat has the devil in him..." he says but this time he's cut off by me.

"Simon?!" I say. and I can hear him suck in a breathe. How could I have not notcied it before? Dungeons and Dragongs. Yossarian. The voice. We were on the same swim team for 3 years. And he's obsessed with Ninja's.

"Clary." he says and I can hear the struggle he has saying my name for the first in what? a year?

"yeah it's me" I say. My heart is beating so fast I feel like it's gonna rip right out of my chest. Yet my breaths are slowing and getting deeper. Is this what a heart attack feels like? I know I'm not having a heart attack at 17 years old because of Simon Lewis the video game nerd.

"It's been a while" he says absently, and I can tell he's as lost as I am.

"yeah a long...painful while" I feel like screaming and crying and puking all at the same time.

"I'm sorry Clary. I really am" he says and he doesn't even have to explain what he's sorry for. I look around at everyone with me. Isabelle looks confused; a single, dark brown, perfectly shaped eyebrow raised. Alec looks like he doesn't even know what's going on; his eyes, blue seas hold a million emotions, his lips straight as a line. And Magnus is staring at me. His eyebrows raised, his green eyes, flaked with yellow, interestingly cat-like; are looking at me with more concern than I've ever seen in them.

"okay Simon...umm thanks for saving me" I say. There are many reasons why I'm not excepting his apology. I mean you can't just be someones only bestfreind for years, know everything about them, and then ditch them because of one thing, without even talking about it. Ofcourse there's more to it because nothing is that simple in my life, if you can even consider that simple.

"You don't even have to thank me Clary. I owe you, a lot" I can picture him. Sitting on the beanbags in front of his bed, in his poster filled room, with Dungeons and dragons on pause and headphone around his neck. His brown hair a mess of curls, his thick black rimmed glasses, and his made in brooklyn shirt. And in that moment I can almost remember sitting next to him, a year and a half ago; sitting next to him in a beanbag surrounded by his nerd stuff, sipping on the tea his mom made, telling him about my day.

And that was when i realized i missed him. I miss Simon Lewis. My ex-bestfreind.

"I..umm miss you" and it's him that says that, as if he can read my mind.

"yeah I miss you too" I don't like admitting like that. Like it's something that simple, because yet again nothing is that simple for me.

"Clary, can we meet somewhere and talk?" he asks

"talk about what?" I ask. I have to be careful. I have to make sure I'm ready for this, if I'm not it'll be like walking into a trap.

"Just everything. Please, I'd do anything to explain things Clary" I contemplate several things that could happen. That's like my super-power; being able to predict things in the future that have either a 0-10% or 50-100% chance of happening.

"Okay. where?" I asks. I can't belive I'm doing this.

"Java Jones like we always used to" he says and I can hear a little bit of excitment in his voice now.

"Okay, so tomorrow at noon?" I ask. If I don't do this soon, I'll talk myself out of it.

"sounds great" he says and i can sense that little smile he gets when he achieves something.

"Oh and Isabelle, I'll call you later" He says. I look over to see Isabelle perk up.

"Oh okay great" she says her a voice all excitment. She hits the end button before Simon can. We all just sit there looking at each other, thiking about what just happened.

"Isabelle. I just want to thank you for getting him to save me" I say after a minute of silence.

"umm I'd say your welcome but I didn't 'get' him to do anything. We were standing on the patio, facing each other, my back was to the pool. Honestly I didn't even notice you and Jace until simon looked over my shoulder. He saw you and just dove in. Not even taking anything off. He could've drowned or something because of his costume but he acted like getting you was more important than his life" she says. and yet again it's silent, letting Isabelle's story fill the air, the room, and our minds.

"wow. Well thanks for helping me after" I say a smile on my lips showng her I'm grateful.

"yeah. Sorry about Jace by the way. he's so confused right now. It's like Jordan and them turned him into a bipolar jock" she says rolling her eyes at jordan's name.

"I'm sorry Izzy but the last thing I need to think about right now is jace" I say. I don't even want to go to that topic right now. or ever to be honest.

Isabelle, alec and magnus leave 15 minutes late; with hugs and see-you-monday's and promises to call later.

This evening was nothing i planned it to be. It was no where near taking a nap and having it easy. everything just keeps playing over and over in my head. And above it all i can't belive I missed Harry Potter for all this bull-crap. The stuff that happened today was far more depressing than the death of sirius Black...well maybe not, but with me basically everything is an emotional roller coaster.

**Okay guys. I am really really greatly super-duperly sorry that I'm updating this late. I've been busy with church, hell (a.k.a. school), friends, and many more things. I hope you liked it. How do you feel about Simon coming in? What do you think is gonna happen? and what's gonna happen with Jace? Ya'll know I enjoy your opinions and thoughts about what I should do. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I have never owned TMI, I don't now and I never will**

**Jace's POV**

It's been a week since the party, since the pool, since the dancing. I've been going to school but the week has seemed to drone on for eternity. I can't believe I let her fall. Every time I close my eyes I see her falling, nearly drowning, because I couldn't catch her in time. Jordan has always been a joker and I never take him too seriously. So when he interrupted my dancing with Clary and whispered in my ear that I need to get rid of her or he will, I didn't overthink it. But that's the probably because if I hadn't been as distracted I would've understood. But she just smelled so good, like roses and it was very hard not to be mesmerized by her wide green eyes.

I've been wanting to call her but I can't. I'm "forbidden" to I guess you could say. The jocks and their girlfriends don't like Clary. They told me that if I wanted to stay on the team and be able to hang out with them, I had to ditch her. I want to be with Clary but I _need_ this team, they're my only chance at getting a scholarship for college. I mean Clary would understand that right?

I'm sitting on the floor at the foot of my bed, staring at my phone sitting next to me. My fingers itch to call her, to hear her voice, to see if she's okay. It's taking just about everything in me to refrain from it. After my lost stare turns into a full on glare, I pick up the phone and hurl it at the wall across from me. I growl in frustration, angry at myself, my friends, and my world. Why do I have to be such a jerk?

I hear the door close downstairs and know that it's Isabelle and Alec back from their visit with Clary. They asked me if I wanted to go, after a moment of hesitation I told them no and tried to ignore the hurt looks on their faces as I closed the door on them. I can't keep doing this. It's tearing my up, driving me insane. I'm having such a hard time staying away from her, with her kindness, and timidness. I should just make her hate me, maybe then it wouldn't be so hard. I jump at the sudden knock at my door. Alec sticks his head in says "we're back" in a small voice. I nod at him quickly, avoiding eye contact.

I've finally decided what I'm gonna do about all this bullshit. I'll make her mad at me, make her hate me, so I have no reason to love her. I get up quickly knowing if I don't do this now, I'll back out. I dash downstairs and Isabelle gives me a funny look when I shoot out the door. I run across the street not even bothering to look. And there it is. Clary's house. Pretty orange flowers hang from pots on the porch and I wonder if she chose them herself. I walk up to the door and pause. I clear my throat and think about what I'm gonna say. I'm prepared I say to myself and knock on the quickly but loudly. I stand there not so patiently, waiting for her to answer. I look back towards the street making sure my siblings didn't try to follw me.

I hear the door unlock and spin around quickly at the sound. And then all I'm looking at is fiery red curls and green eyes shining bright like emeralds. Her hair surrounds her face, almost hiding it. I do a quick look over. She's wearing grey sweatpants and green tank top. Totally undressed and definiatly not expecting company, but some how she's the picture of absolute beauty. She looks up at me and I can tell she's looking everywhere but my eyes. Avoiding my eye contact like it's a plague.

"Clary" I say, my voice so uneven that I sound like a thirteen year old in puberty. She's looking down now, and her eyes are moving frantically as if she's looking for something.

"Carrot" I say, and her head shoots up and suddenly makes eye contact I wasn't ready for. The emotions in her eyes nearly make me fall over. There's so much hurt and pain and betrayal. and I blame myself for every bit of it. she gulps and opens her mouth as if she was gonna say something but closes it again.

"Goldie locks" she says in such a shy, fragile voice that I'm so scared that even looking at her will break her.

"Can we talk?" I ask. Suddenly remembering my mission. She looks confused and relieved at the same time.

"sure come in" she says in the same voice. I step in and stand behind her waiting. she closes the door and turns around to face me. "let's talk" .


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't TMI. so yeah. **

**Chapter 9 **

***Clary's POV***

I thought the rest of my day was gonna be easy. I thought I would have time to think everything over. But boy did I think wrong. When I opened the door the person I least expected to be here said that we need to talk. After a moment of hesitation I let him through the thresh hold and close the door. I lead him to the kitchen and gesture to the stools at the granite covered island.

"want anything to drink?", I ask out of habit. My mom started teaching me manners when I was very young. I shudder at the thought of my mom.

"No thanks, I'm not gonna be here long enough to finish it", he says completely mono-tone, all emotion in his face is replaced with a cold, hard, statute-like expression.

"oh well nevermind then..." I say trailing off. I lean against the counter while pulling my sleeves down over my hands and crossing my arms across my chest. I look up at him to find him staring already. I flick an eyebrow up, challanging him to say the first words.

" this can't work", he says flatly, giving no clue as to what can't work. I raise an eyebrow, clearly showing how confused I am.

"us. whatever is about to start happening can't", he shows no emotion, leaving me as confused as I was before. I move my head forward and widen my eyes, asking him to explain.

"I just don't think it'll work", he says grimly, his lips forming a hard line, "you're just not my kind of person". I open my mouth, finding it slightly harder to breath. Of course. I knew this would happen. I knew he wouldn't really care about me.

"what do you mean?", I ask innocently. I try to control my breathing but keep failing.

"You know exactly what I mean, you're not dumb". He means he can't be seen with me. It's not that I'm not _his_ kind of person, it's that I'm not the kind of person that people like him should be with. I struggle with this concept even though I understand perfectly. Everyone belongs somewhere. Simon with the nerds. Jace with the populars. and me, with the out-casts.

"okay. It's okay", I mumble trying to convince him and myself that it really is okay. But I fail. He crosses the kitchen and comes to stand about 6 inches from me. I go to turn away, scared that if he looks in my eyes he'll see all the emotions I'm failing at hiding. He slightly grabs my wrist though and pulls me around to face him. And even the smallest pressure that he uses hurts. My eyes widen and gloss over with tears as my wrist irrupt with sharp, burning pain. He notices what triggered it and glances down at my sweatshirt covered arms. He comes closer, pushing me back against the counter until I'm trapped between his body and the counter. Quickly, he looks me in the eye and I try to capture any emotion that is there but his eyes flick down after just a second. Slowly he pulls up my sleeve, inch by inch, and the first red gash comes into sight. Then another, and another, and another until my sleeve is fully rolled up and my flesh torn arm is in full view. The cuts are big and red and sloppy, since I didn't feel like taking my time.

I look up at Jace to find him carefully inspecting the condition of my arm. I see him open and close his mouth several times and his eyebrows are drawn together. His features laced with concern and panic and worry. It's one of the few times I've caught him when he wasn't hiding his emotions. When he looks up at me though, his face is completely blank. I'm in shock. I've never been so scared to do anything. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it firmly and appears to be angry.

"this. This is why I can't be with you. I can't be with someone who is so emotionally unstable that they harm themselves. I'm a hurtful person and I can't have you _cutting_ every time I say something offensive", his voice getting a little higher as he spits out the word cutting. Tears are streaming down my face but I haven't dared myself to sob yet.

"I'm sorry", I whisper weakly, caving inwardly and sliding down the cabinet. He storms out as I do so and I don't think he heard my two small words. I hear the front door slam and I jump. I sit there and cry and sob, unable to get up and move. I slump down to the cold, hard floor and lay my cheek flat against the chilly tile of the kitchen. I cry some more until I can feel the tears puddling under my cheek and wetting my hair. I lay there and think that I will never be good enough. Never be able to stop this. And never be able to keep people from leaving me.


End file.
